How to decide what you want

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Who DOESN'T struggle with procrastination? If you have that area in your life solved, I applaud you. For everyone else, I feel you. But Seth's statement above was THE quote I needed to hear right now.

I took the Mindful Self-Compassion class to share its transformative tools both in in-person workshops and through this blog. The time has come where I need to format and translate the info in Greek and connect with people.

Instead, I found myself saying I need more time to read more books, watch more videos, take more online courses and so on, which truthfully was a way of putting off what I had intended to start.

Sound familiar?

The reason I was putting it off wasn't that I wasn't sure if it's what I wanted to do - it was because I hadn't decided, with a firm conviction that this is who I was going to be.

Seth's quote really propelled me to stop buying time.

I decided to be a guide to awakening consciousness and a compass to self-compassion. 

There, I said it out loud. That is my official title. 

Here are the 6 steps I took to move from needing more time, to have decided and acted on moving closer to fulfilling my desire:

1. Decide what you're going to create/be/do. Believe it.
That's really the most important step. 

2. Does it align with my core values?
Yup! Here's a list of my values that perfectly fit in with my decision: 

  • Community

  • Spirituality

  • Contribution

  • Wisdom

  • Authenticity

Find your core values here-I suggest selecting no more than 5 to have a better idea of your priorities.

3. What are my fears?
My worst fears come from my inner critic. Here's what my inner critic sounds like:

  • No one will want to listen to what you have to say.

  • Who do you think you are for making such a bold decision?

  • You will fail, no one will be interested.

  • You won't make any money off of this to be able to sustain yourself.

After I gave my inner critic her chance to express herself, I thanked her for wanting to protect me from perceived failure and moved along to the next item. Like magic, she disappeared-for now ;)

- What are your fears? Write them out, it helps getting rid of them!

4. List action steps
I tend to want to do ALL the things right away, but I remind myself to list only the immediate action steps I need to take. For example:

  • Translate one chapter a week.

  • Create worksheets for each journaling prompt.

- What are the action steps you can take right now? 

5. Practice mindfulness, re-align
Every day I check in with myself through mindfulness, to detect if my thoughts are causing me anxiety, or if I feel burnt out. I'll go for a walk, meditate, stretch or take a nap. These things recharge me and help me get back on course. 

- What do you do when you need to recharge? Do they enhance your well-being or create more stress?

6. Trust it will all happen and let go of the attachment to the outcome.
This one is though! I continuously have to trust the process of it all happening exactly as it should be and I don't get attached to the outcome.

What does this mean?

It means I'm not fixated on how I think it all SHOULD unfold but instead I'm grateful I'm in alignment with my values and that I get to feel fulfilled as I create my path.

In other words, I don't wait for the outcome of the situation to bring me joy but rather find all the enjoyment in the process. The result will be a pleasant surprise!  For more on letting go of control, here's a 15-minute TEDxShanghaiWomen talk by Dr. Alison Tan.

And finally, the best part of this whole process is that I decided to BELIEVE in myself.

If I don't, how will anyone else?